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188.5 #1761 (DL Qual #1800)
June 15, 2011 9:27 PM
I want everyone to share their favorite Jungle Cruise CM joke. Mine is,"There's something you don't see everyday! Except for me. Every 15 minutes."
I was seriously just about to post the same thing. Great minds think alike. I like, when looking at indy, "and here's the rarest of all the creatures in the jungle, they attach to their parents for 18 to 25 years and suck them dry" - Seacow
427.6 #295 9:30PM
Well, not exactly a joke. But the whole boat yelled at the exiting Indie people. That was fun.... Joke on them - parkfan2
37.5 #4069 9:30PM
Haa that is funny - Jennabennabofenna
32.2 #4259 9:31PM
I like when some times at the end the CM says something like if you enjoyed your trip their name is John (or whatever their real name is). And you didn't have a good time, their name is Sally (or whatever the CM at the unloading dock name is)! - chrissykins
825.5 #110 9:31PM
"this is the longest river in the world. If you don't believe me, your in da nile." - MagicFeather
79.6 #3276 9:33PM
Haha I don't really have a favorite joke but I remember one time we were going up a mountain to church camp and one of our leaders used to work on that ride and so she got on the intercom of the bus and started doing the whole thing for us so the whole thing was a joke cause its like.... who knew there were elephants when you're going up a mountain? Haha - acpowers13
148.8 #2303 9:33PM
Something along the lines of...and to your right,you see the natives. You can tell which one is the female by the size of their hips...I probably flubbed it but that line is hilarious lol - VivaHate88
154.0 #2238 9:34PM
My favorite is when they translate the singing. The best one I got was " all the single ladies" - MissErikaRae_CM
285.5 #695 9:35PM
This makes me LOL! - PrincessSarah
157.3 #2183 9:35PM
I like when u are leaving they say "get out, oh wait, that was rude of me, please get out" and the backside of water is always a classic! - kritomiester
328.3 #479 9:37PM
Another good one that you don't hear too often is, "those hippos, making you feel like they are going to do one thing, then they do the complete opposite, what a bunch of HIPPOScrites" after they blow bubbles and don't attack. - Seacow
427.6 #295 9:38PM
Something very few people have seen.....the back side of a waterfall - SUUZinOC
715.0 #140 9:38PM
My absolute fav is when you are getting out of the boats: Please watch your step and please watch your head. However, if you miss your step or you hit your head, please watch your language. There are children everywhere! Or something like that. - oxjulietelizabethxo
2.7 #36209 9:41PM
My boyfriends professor (when he was in college) was a CM before and always cracked random jokes in class - beautifultish
2.9 #35958 9:42PM
"Oh look those lions are looking over that sleeping zebra" - mommyland
289.4 #669 9:45PM
When he points to the elephant 1 and then to elephant 2 says oh wait the most scariest of all creatures, his mother in law - MarshaMouse
2834.6 #15 9:45PM
"Now look to the left to see this beautiful Sandstone...most people take it for granite (granted)...that joke rocks!" - Mouseketeer.for.Short
335.3 #445 9:47PM
This is Trader Sam, the head salesman around here, but business is shrinking so he'll trade you two for one of yours. No matter how you slice it you'll come out a head! - Boundin
423.6 #298 9:47PM
Ginger snaps when pointing to the alligator at beginning and I laugh everytime they say that Bengal tiger can jump over 20 ft, good thing we are only 10 ft away... - MarshaMouse
2834.6 #15 9:49PM
Mine was when the whole boat yelled "backside of water" & the CM said "no, frontside of rock! Awsome...". - Anders
4.1 #12963 9:53PM
Our guide told us not to worry, she would use her gun to scare off the hippos. She then waived the gun in the air while screaming at the top oh her lungs. LOL - DisneyRose
240.8 #1097 9:54PM
Instead of using the gun, he "shooed" away the hippos with it LOL - swingingwake
217.8 #1384 9:55PM
I've only heard it once but when we went behind the water the CM said it was O2H not H2O..or when they say its the back side of water but not to try it at home cause you will hit your head on the faucet. - kristeee22
104.3 #2977 10:00PM
"interpreting" the native dancers into the hokey pokey. I crack up every time!! - JenAnneWho
300.7 #609 10:04PM
Naming all of the animals, then '...not sure what they are, they must be gnu' !! - PieRatAL
619.7 #176 10:10PM
Was just on it the skipper kept having a nervous breakdown because of the fireworks no no make it stop .hilarious - jdmouse
9.9 #6782 10:12PM
At the end of the ride: "You guys have been such a great crew that I wrote you a heartfelt poem....
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Get out!" - Nala
331.4 #462 10:13PM
"Please watch your step and your head as you exit the boat. If you miss your step and hit your head well then watch your language. There are children present." - MissSwann
268.2 #841 10:15PM
When returning to the dock "...you'll be greeted by a pair of professional elbow grabbers." - Mimmy
1405.4 #57 10:17PM
I love when they talk about the man eating piranha....'But don't worry..., you ladies are safe' makes me giggle everytime!! - SaraLuvsMickey
25.8 #4594 10:19PM
And this next joke is for our mind readers (silence) I can't help but crack up!!! - JenAnneWho
300.7 #609 10:19PM
Who woke up today and thought, 'Jungle Cruise, thats what I'm doing today'.....me too - MJisMM
31.0 #4313 10:20PM
The backside of water never gets old - loveeeyore
175.5 #1917 10:23PM
"and here's something you don't see everyday...but I do; over, and over, and over..." I love the JC - iDreamAboutDumbo
307.3 #573 10:31PM
One time the cm made a "boat running into an iceberg" reference, to which he immediately chastised himself, saying, "tsk, too soon!" - ChipnDalefan
13.6 #5894 10:32PM
At the rhino and people up the post. "It's the Jackson Five! Guess which one's Michael..." - SpencerPhreak
114.6 #2807 10:40PM
Let me take a moment to point out my favorite plants....I like that one...and that one...and that one over there. Lol I've only heard it a few times but it makes me giggle. :) - CaliGirlNiki
32.6 #4250 11:53PM
Just heard this one yesterday for the first time.... "alright everyone, how many of you woke up this morning and said to yourself, 'Disney's Jungle Cruise, I just HAVE to do it!!'?" (we all raise our hands jokingly) CM: "I did, and this time I didn't cry. That was a big milestone for me" - PrincessLunn
14.2 #5786 11:59PM
I have a few favorites....one is " you know the zebras are the oldest animals in the JC? Of course they are, they're the only ones in black and white!"
"watch out everyone! I'm gonna scare these hippos away with my gun!(fires gun up in the air) oh, I hope I got that one in the tree!" hahahahaha!!!! - belleismyfave
13.5 #5901 12:06AM
1) ok, wave good bye to all those beautiful people on the docks...and now the ugly ones.
2) if you look to your right you'll see the temple of the never ending line
3) make sure you keep those body parts inside the boat while we approach the dock, I don't want you to scratch it.
4) get out. Oh that wasn't very Disney of me. Please get out. - MontanaMouse
300.0 #612 12:07AM
Still love, waive goodbye to those people as you will never see them again or something to that effect. - PopcornYeti
377.6 #359 12:08AM
I agree with @chrissykins, one time at the end the CM said something like, " if you enjoyed your trip, my name is Allison. But if you didn't have a good time, my name is Megan." My family liked that because my sister's name is Megan and I'm Allyson. - AllysonWonderland
47.7 #3790 12:29AM
"that's a cambodian shrine. How do we know? It was made by real cambodian shriners" - kemal007
273.3 #794 1:00AM
Does anyone want to see some Danger today! There it is over ther D-A-N-G-E-R right over there. (points at box that says danger) I know it's amazing your skipper can read all the signs of danger here in the jungle go ahead and take some pictures if you want. - Clu2.0
773.0 #125 3:08AM
Last trip we get to the hippo part and the cm says I'm going to try and scare them away figured then he'd do the gun thing like usual. Instead he yells at the hippos "GO AWAY!!!" Thought it was hilarious - chrisskelington
3.9 #14018 8:11AM
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