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MR-banner600
 2018.6 #66 (DL Qual #34

Sep 1, 2013 10:05 PM  Disneyland Talk Land
I've really been missing Disneyland lately, and one attraction I really like is the Jungle Cruise (poster courtesy of Google). I miss the one-liners and jokes... Do you have a favorite you can share?

Last night the skipper said "there's a boa in a tree. H-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love.......then asphyxiation." I laughed at that one and he said to me "oh, you know what marriage is like."  I laughed more and he said "getting a little too real, huh?" - duckymomo  36.6 #5039 8:25AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - LilMissPixie84  309.3 #781 9:23AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - MeridaFan  3511.1 #33 9:33AM
LOL - MrsSchnooks  3043.1 #40 9:35AM
Omg lol πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ - princessb5  175.5 #2217 9:36AM
Lol that's funny! I haven't heard that one!  - Seebritatdland  268.6 #1096 9:42AM
I love that line! - ythdudette  1174.1 #130 6:57PM
There are too many to post (since I hear them every time I work in Adventureland...). Here's a few: CM gets on queue speaker: "May I have your attention please! Whoever lost a bundle of cash wrapped in a rubber band, please see the nearest skipper. We have found your rubber band...". Another: "Please do not take pictures while in line. I repeat, please do not take pictures while in line. The pictures are bolted to the wall. Thank you." - BaseballMickey_CM  6854.1 #9 10:09PM
I've heard the rubber band one before, (love it), but the pictures in line is a new one for me! Love it! - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 10:14PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I haven't heard either of those. Funny! - MeridaFan  3511.1 #33 10:36PM
We've now turned down the Nile River, the longest river in the world! If you don't believe it then you must be in denial.  - zonfire  22.8 #6243 9:03AM
O2H is by far my most favorite joke! My husband and I always cheer whenever the skipper says it, and we attempt to lead the rest of the boat in an O2H chant.Β  - Atora  2457.5 #46 10:10PM
It's the little ones you have to watch out for. They will latch on for 18-25 years.  - Geekery  409.4 #493 10:25PM
What part is that on? - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 10:33PM
Usually when passing the Indiana Jones queue  - Atora  2457.5 #46 10:36PM
The "animals" near Indy. - CM_Shadowgamer  2391.0 #49 10:40PM
LOL!!! Haven't heard that one before - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 11:16PM
"And bleed you dry!" - IDVandalSkipperCM  2326.1 #52 2:46AM
My favorite was years ago when I was in the queue about to board.  One of the boats was pulling away and the skipper was saying into his mike that on their journey the passengers would be seeing things "even more terrifying than that girl in the pink shirt."  I was the girl in the pink shirt.  πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - Bo22  387.2 #531 10:47PM
In the queue "looking for a tall, fit, blonde hair blue eyed female between 18-23. If you find one send her to me." - GoofyMom77  649.0 #273 11:28PM
At the end, "Get out! Oh, I'm sorry that was rude.... PLEASE get out" πŸ˜‚ Or "lower your head and watch your step. And if you don't lower your head watch your language" lol They know me too well πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - SPandEvLover  3482.9 #34 9:34AM
Love this one!   - MeridaFan  3511.1 #33 9:41AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint  5194.2 #17 9:50AM
"You don't see that every day. Well...I do." - Alicewhoareyou  1567.9 #90 10:09PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ love that one! - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 10:16PM
I miss the jungle cruise too but my all time favourite is pirates! - piratepat  15.9 #7509 10:40PM
"If anyone has not seen the Jungle Book...there it is." (Only visitors to Magic Kingdom will get this one.) - CM_Shadowgamer  2391.0 #49 10:45PM
"Most people take it for granite." - LittleAprilShowers  560.5 #328 10:49PM
This is one of my favorites too! - duckchub  547.1 #339 10:57PM
"Come on, that joke rocks!" - CM_Shadowgamer  2391.0 #49 11:08PM
πŸ‘†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 11:54PM
one of my favorites was near the end after trader sam and the shrunken head thing, the skipper pointed to the wall of the Aladdin complex and said "if you need to find the restrooms just follow the directions on that wall." It's in arabic. I am still curious as to what it really sayes. - Plumiegirl  8572.8 #3 10:53PM
According to a CM I trained with, he said it doesn't say much. It's just gibberish. The one word he did find is "river". - IDVandalSkipperCM  2326.1 #52 2:47AM
The skipper says... I was over at trader SAMs for dinner and I said your wife makes a great stew and he said, I know, I am going to miss her!πŸ²πŸ‘€πŸ™€πŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΉπŸ˜Ή - Boundin  593.1 #308 10:57PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 11:17PM
Have you met my girlfriend a-net? She's a real catch.  - sewedna  413.5 #489 11:03PM
And sometimes they say what a bad joke that was, because he doesn't have a girlfriend. - APirateslifeforme31  169.0 #2330 7:36AM
I heard a new two new ones the other night.  At least they were new to me.  One was, I stead of "back side of water" it was the "back stage area of world of color" and then at the end, instead of "pair of docks" it was "let's end this trip on a high note:****commence with high pitch tarzan type yell***"  - Zippitydoodani  260.3 #1172 11:04PM
Great lines!!! - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 11:17PM
The first time I took my kids the skipper says, 'My name is Jesus (hay soos), not Jesus πŸ™ - HalfCaff  426.7 #464 11:11PM
"Keep an eye on your children, they can be used as a floatation device." Something like that. Lol - pinkmonkeys  523.3 #358 11:18PM
My fave is still "let me point out some of the local plant life...*points to random area* there's some right there...*points to other random area* and some more over there" πŸ˜‚ so lame but I laugh every time!!!! - GitsieMouse  261.7 #1159 11:31PM
I laugh at that one all the time too! One of my faves! - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 11:52PM
O2H, O2H - SDKimble  156.7 #2517 11:39PM
Whiny they turn to the plants saying they all have names and then introduce them as Larry, Bob, Terry, etc. LOL - MrsSchnooks  3043.1 #40 4:26AM
"They're only dangerous when they blow bubbles and wiggle their ears" - TheNewTrent  748.0 #224 4:28AM
"There's a lot of rocks on the beach, there must be millions!" Or I love, "Here's the second most feared animal in the jungle The great elephant! Now if you look to your right you'll see the second, his mother in law." Cracks me up every time!  - CheshireKatt4  217.7 #1680 4:44AM
Not really a one-liner - but I love the birthday song they sing β™«β™ͺβ™«"This is your birthday song, it isn't very long." β™ͺβ™«β™«   - CallMeFlower  422.9 #470 7:06AM
"I'm only am elected official...I can make decisions on my own" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - 2BeignetOrNot2Beignet  1113.4 #141 8:08AM
Hahah - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint  5194.2 #17 9:13AM
This isn't a line but once years ago the skipper said "ladies and gentlemen we have a celebrity on board. Everyone please give a round a applause for Sandra Bullock!" He was referring to me. I am often told I look like her and this was mortifying as an 18 year old but now I think it's hilarious.  - tballzz  555.2 #331 10:50AM
I bet you look like my sister! She looks a lot like SB too! - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 4:46PM
When the skipper picks up the gun and *SAYS*, "Bang! Bang! Ricochet!! Ricochet!!"  We are giggling about it right now - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint  5194.2 #17 4:21PM
I like: " oh and here we have Ginger. She is a big croc..... But be careful, ginger snaps!!" - HiddenMickeyFanatic  1150.6 #135 6:40PM
not a joke but I thought there was a movie based in jungle cruise in development, slated for next year or 2015 release starring tim allen.  now where did I see that?????  will have to find it for you. - secretagentangel  1425.2 #101 6:51PM
Skipper states at the beginning of the tour "Who woke up this morning and said, I HAVE to go on the Jungle Cruise today?  I DO, every morning". Then something about "every 7 minutes" - MermaidHunter  121.0 #3079 6:53PM
I was about 10 so this was ages ago. Heading toward the dock the Skipper told a joke: What did Snow White say when she was at the Fotomat? Someday my prints will come!!  - ythdudette  463.5 #298 6:59PM Flag  Edit  Delete Like  Reply - ythdudette  1174.1 #130 7:01PM
"Now here's one for those of you that can read minds:............." - garrlusdland  67.6 #4005 7:11PM
.........(mentally laughing)... πŸ˜‚ - DisneyDavidEMT  2018.6 #66 8:39PM

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Looks like redwood creek will open earlier. 3/3 I think - aud2580  10.0 #9882 3:22PM
it was open when i was there on the 4th. - MsTikiMermadam  197.9 #1927 1:29AM
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any chance you will be welcoming dogs in your outside dining area anytime soon? - MelodyMouse  4019.8 #26 12:24PM
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Thank you Admin! This book is a great read. I recommend it to anyone who is a Disney fan. Can't wait for the next one! - grumpypapa  3062.0 #39 8:38PM
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I downloaded this before a very long road trip, and it kept me entertained the whole time (well, except when I was taking my turn at the wheel, safety first!).  - Geekery  409.4 #493 10:21PM
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Cool admin. Hope I do better than the first one. Hope people that enter will be ready to play and the tournament moves along better - Goofytom  1107.9 #144 6:41PM
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unForecast for week of Monday, April 13, 2015:

CROWD PREDICTIONSpring Break is winding down as Disney reduces hours this week. The MouseWait Historical Crowd Index shows mid-70s for this week which seems about right. Crowds will be lighter than last week with Friday and Sunday being the busiest days. - Admin Apr 14, 2015 12:04PM



We have always noticed that Saturdays are better than Sundays! We always come on the weekend and say we want to leave at dinner time on Sunday, but always leave by 11-12 because there are so many people. We love Saturday!! - 1Princess3Princes  373.0 #559 5:39PM
I agree. I think it has to do with most passes being blocked - PoohSizedGuy  18.5 #6929 11:53PM
I love these posts!  I do have a question/request/suggestion...is there a way to only show the 3-4 most recent posts?  It's a lot to scroll through. @@Admin - TiggersAndTinks  122.5 #3044 5:08AM
I second this. The info is great to have, but it's too long.  - 1HitchhikingGhost  221.2 #1632 5:04PM
Thanks for these updates. I love them!  - Dizkid  362.0 #581 6:07PM
It's Dance the Magic this weekend-always adds to the crowds too!!! - TinkerSchelle  1437.5 #100 8:23PM
What is dance the magic?? - bks4lou  178.9 #2169 4:40PM
Dance studios sign up and dancers come and do a little "pre-parade" along the route. It's cute ;) - TinkerSchelle  1437.5 #100 1:05PM
@bks4lou sorry-I just saw this question ;) - TinkerSchelle  1437.5 #100 1:06PM
thank you. No worries. I just figured out how to find my old comments to see replies :)  - bks4lou  178.9 #2169 8:21PM
I'll sport my hotpants.  - Butterlina  1512.9 #95 11:54PM

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Deadliest Cast Member SEASON TWO is here! Find out what really happened on Disneyland's 50th Anniversary. Twenty-four hours or real-time action, authentic Disneyland history, and a finale that you'll never forget. EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME. Download it to any device from Amazon here.

Will there be a Season 3??  Please??? - YoPirate  303.8 #814 8:03PM
I bought the paper copy for myself and 2 copies of season one for christmas gifts!  LOVE THIS BOOK!!! - snitsos  26.8 #5766 5:28PM
Thank you snitsos for your support, glad you liked Season Two! - Admin  12:13AM
Thank you for your support glad you liked Season Two! snitsos - Admin  12:15AM
Test - Admin  12:16AM
Ever thought if making a movie of this  - karieh  141.8 #2749 11:11PM
Will there be a Season 3??  Please??? - YoPirate  303.8 #814 8:03PM

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What percentage saving are we looking at for being MouseWaiters? Is it better than a AAA discount.  - MoChuck  49.7 #4481 3:57PM
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