2780.6 #54 (DL Qual #32

Sep 1, 2013 10:05 PM  Disneyland Talk Land
I've really been missing Disneyland lately, and one attraction I really like is the Jungle Cruise (poster courtesy of Google). I miss the one-liners and jokes... Do you have a favorite you can share?

Last night the skipper said "there's a boa in a tree. H-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love.......then asphyxiation." I laughed at that one and he said to me "oh, you know what marriage is like."  I laughed more and he said "getting a little too real, huh?" - duckymomo  48.7 #5039 8:25AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - LilMissPixie84  309.5 #919 9:23AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - MeridaFan  4244.2 #39 9:33AM
LOL - Cinderella_Schnooks  3466.9 #46 9:35AM
Omg lol πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ - princessb5  190.9 #2189 9:36AM
Lol that's funny! I haven't heard that one!  - Seebritatdland  268.6 #1245 9:42AM
I love that line! - ythdudette  1527.5 #120 6:57PM
There are too many to post (since I hear them every time I work in Adventureland...). Here's a few: CM gets on queue speaker: "May I have your attention please! Whoever lost a bundle of cash wrapped in a rubber band, please see the nearest skipper. We have found your rubber band...". Another: "Please do not take pictures while in line. I repeat, please do not take pictures while in line. The pictures are bolted to the wall. Thank you." - BaseballMickey  8025.6 #11 10:09PM
I've heard the rubber band one before, (love it), but the pictures in line is a new one for me! Love it! - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 10:14PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I haven't heard either of those. Funny! - MeridaFan  4244.2 #39 10:36PM
We've now turned down the Nile River, the longest river in the world! If you don't believe it then you must be in denial.  - zonfire  47.9 #5062 9:03AM
O2H is by far my most favorite joke! My husband and I always cheer whenever the skipper says it, and we attempt to lead the rest of the boat in an O2H chant.Β  - Atora  2702.2 #56 10:10PM
It's the little ones you have to watch out for. They will latch on for 18-25 years.  - Geekery  409.4 #580 10:25PM
What part is that on? - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 10:33PM
Usually when passing the Indiana Jones queue  - Atora  2702.2 #56 10:36PM
The "animals" near Indy. - CM_Shadowgamer  2583.3 #60 10:40PM
LOL!!! Haven't heard that one before - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 11:16PM
"And bleed you dry!" - IDVandalSkipperCM  2603.2 #58 2:46AM
My favorite was years ago when I was in the queue about to board.  One of the boats was pulling away and the skipper was saying into his mike that on their journey the passengers would be seeing things "even more terrifying than that girl in the pink shirt."  I was the girl in the pink shirt.  πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - Bo22  394.4 #606 10:47PM
In the queue "looking for a tall, fit, blonde hair blue eyed female between 18-23. If you find one send her to me." - GoofyMom77  1020.9 #200 11:28PM
At the end, "Get out! Oh, I'm sorry that was rude.... PLEASE get out" πŸ˜‚ Or "lower your head and watch your step. And if you don't lower your head watch your language" lol They know me too well πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - SPandEvLover  4834.3 #29 9:34AM
Love this one!   - MeridaFan  4244.2 #39 9:41AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - misschurro  7728.9 #14 9:50AM
"You don't see that every day. Well...I do." - Alicewhoareyou  2724.3 #55 10:09PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ love that one! - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 10:16PM
I miss the jungle cruise too but my all time favourite is pirates! - piratepat  19.8 #7755 10:40PM
"If anyone has not seen the Jungle Book...there it is." (Only visitors to Magic Kingdom will get this one.) - CM_Shadowgamer  2583.3 #60 10:45PM
"Most people take it for granite." - LittleAprilShowers  587.7 #372 10:49PM
This is one of my favorites too! - duckchub  557.8 #397 10:57PM
"Come on, that joke rocks!" - CM_Shadowgamer  2583.3 #60 11:08PM
πŸ‘†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 11:54PM
one of my favorites was near the end after trader sam and the shrunken head thing, the skipper pointed to the wall of the Aladdin complex and said "if you need to find the restrooms just follow the directions on that wall." It's in arabic. I am still curious as to what it really sayes. - Plumiegirl  10382.5 #9 10:53PM
According to a CM I trained with, he said it doesn't say much. It's just gibberish. The one word he did find is "river". - IDVandalSkipperCM  2603.2 #58 2:47AM
The skipper says... I was over at trader SAMs for dinner and I said your wife makes a great stew and he said, I know, I am going to miss her!πŸ²πŸ‘€πŸ™€πŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΉπŸ˜Ή - Boundin  812.3 #245 10:57PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 11:17PM
Have you met my girlfriend a-net? She's a real catch.  - sewedna  579.0 #380 11:03PM
And sometimes they say what a bad joke that was, because he doesn't have a girlfriend. - APirateslifeforme31  170.3 #2485 7:36AM
I heard a new two new ones the other night.  At least they were new to me.  One was, I stead of "back side of water" it was the "back stage area of world of color" and then at the end, instead of "pair of docks" it was "let's end this trip on a high note:****commence with high pitch tarzan type yell***"  - Zippitydoodani  260.3 #1322 11:04PM
Great lines!!! - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 11:17PM
The first time I took my kids the skipper says, 'My name is Jesus (hay soos), not Jesus πŸ™ - HalfCaff  609.8 #359 11:11PM
"Keep an eye on your children, they can be used as a floatation device." Something like that. Lol - pinkmonkeys  543.4 #410 11:18PM
My fave is still "let me point out some of the local plant life...*points to random area* there's some right there...*points to other random area* and some more over there" πŸ˜‚ so lame but I laugh every time!!!! - GitsieMouse  267.2 #1256 11:31PM
I laugh at that one all the time too! One of my faves! - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 11:52PM
O2H, O2H - SDKimble  156.9 #2690 11:39PM
Whiny they turn to the plants saying they all have names and then introduce them as Larry, Bob, Terry, etc. LOL - Cinderella_Schnooks  3466.9 #46 4:26AM
"They're only dangerous when they blow bubbles and wiggle their ears" - TheNewTrent  749.0 #278 4:28AM
"There's a lot of rocks on the beach, there must be millions!" Or I love, "Here's the second most feared animal in the jungle The great elephant! Now if you look to your right you'll see the second, his mother in law." Cracks me up every time!  - MaleficentMom  218.0 #1835 4:44AM
Not really a one-liner - but I love the birthday song they sing β™«β™ͺβ™«"This is your birthday song, it isn't very long." β™ͺβ™«β™«   - CallMeFlower  424.0 #556 7:06AM
"I'm only am elected official...I can make decisions on my own" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - 2BeignetOrNot2Beignet  1517.3 #122 8:08AM
Hahah - misschurro  7728.9 #14 9:13AM
This isn't a line but once years ago the skipper said "ladies and gentlemen we have a celebrity on board. Everyone please give a round a applause for Sandra Bullock!" He was referring to me. I am often told I look like her and this was mortifying as an 18 year old but now I think it's hilarious.  - tballzz  558.2 #395 10:50AM
I bet you look like my sister! She looks a lot like SB too! - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 4:46PM
When the skipper picks up the gun and *SAYS*, "Bang! Bang! Ricochet!! Ricochet!!"  We are giggling about it right now - misschurro  7728.9 #14 4:21PM
I like: " oh and here we have Ginger. She is a big croc..... But be careful, ginger snaps!!" - HiddenMickeyFanatic  1335.6 #143 6:40PM
not a joke but I thought there was a movie based in jungle cruise in development, slated for next year or 2015 release starring tim allen.  now where did I see that?????  will have to find it for you. - secretagentangel  7926.0 #12 6:51PM
Skipper states at the beginning of the tour "Who woke up this morning and said, I HAVE to go on the Jungle Cruise today?  I DO, every morning". Then something about "every 7 minutes" - MermaidHunter  141.4 #2955 6:53PM
I was about 10 so this was ages ago. Heading toward the dock the Skipper told a joke: What did Snow White say when she was at the Fotomat? Someday my prints will come!!  - ythdudette  463.5 #298 6:59PM Flag  Edit  Delete Like  Reply - ythdudette  1527.5 #120 7:01PM
"Now here's one for those of you that can read minds:............." - garrlusdland  67.6 #4378 7:11PM
.........(mentally laughing)... πŸ˜‚ - DisneyDavidEMT  2780.6 #54 8:39PM

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what is happening for one last time on aug 6? - MsTikiMermadam  1432.9 #130 12:31AM
It was January 8 I think but I left it as I think it's funnyπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I'll have to delete it😭😭 - secretagentangel  7926.0 #12 7:55PM
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I spy Christmas in July! - FrankenweenieVelinee  3776.3 #43 12:44PM
Looks like July 22! More to follow!  - secretagentangel  7926.0 #12 9:52PM
Really hoping to make it to Christmas in July - Melody_CM  23026.8 #2 11:12AM
- FrankenweenieVelinee  3776.3 #43 11:55AM
I'll add post tonight!  - secretagentangel  7926.0 #12 3:18PM
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1. Coaster
24020.3

2. Melody_CM
23026.8

3. Winnie111286
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13209.4

6. jacdanfan
12684.4

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MONTHLY OVERALL REAL-TIME LEADERBOARD

1. Melody_CM
1224.48

2. Winnie111286
1154.57

3. Coaster
499.13

4. teapotsandteacups
450.25

5. secretagentangel
447.42

6. ShariRenee
434.89

7. connielu
357.52

8. jacdanfan
273.95

9. goofygal
227.79

10. LaPearleNoir
210.6



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I noticed this post is kind of old, but is the Amazon link still working? My hubby tried to buy something through it but it didn't work. @Admin - DisneyDiane316  255.1 #1366 7:59PM
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6. caramiapoohluvsbb8
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7. DLKenCA
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8. IDVandalSkipperCM
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#Breaking news 🚨  This needs to be updated! - MadameLeota  4648.8 #31 3:40PM
Just a little...;) - ShariRenee  11132.8 #8 4:44PM
Okay, a little bit! Lol - MadameLeota  4648.8 #31 10:56PM

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Cool admin. Hope I do better than the first one. Hope people that enter will be ready to play and the tournament moves along better - Goofytom  2890.4 #51 6:41PM
Yes, 1 question every 24 hrs was difficult to stick with.  - DisneyMom13  344.6 #734 6:28PM
Oh πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ just realized that post was 2+ years oldπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ well people are still taking turns very slowly. Maybe it's the app, not the players.  - DisneyMom13  344.6 #734 6:34PM
I will announce the December tournament date this week. - Admin 11:58PM
Can't wait! - sawman911  3228.7 #48 6:30PM
Still waiting. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - MeridaFan  4244.2 #39 12:59PM
There should be a droid version of this. I. would love to play  - bryanjung1997  1.1 #69217 2:19PM
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3. jacdanfan
115000

4. leopardditz2000
98000

5. iLOVELUCYnDISNEY
88000

6. Melody_CM
65000

7. DisneyGrandma
65000

8. debbiev
64750

9. disneygrandma1
63000

10. DarthFairy
58950

 

  Well done and congratulations.  Now I know how some people have so many stickers.  Keep up the good work:-) - beentoall  1271.5 #0 2:55AM
And they share - suzieq65  150.6 #2788 9:06PM
I finally made a list besides wait times.wait times has become almost impossible with the crowds,reception blows.but thank you for all you do@@@@Admin - DarthFairy  585.3 #374 7:43PM
I finally made a list besides wait times.wait times has become almost impossible with the crowds,reception blows.but thank you for all you do@@@@Admin - DarthFairy  585.3 #374 7:43PM
!!! And I thought working up to 73 credits was good lol - sunvalgifts  170.5 #2478 12:21PM


 
MONTHLY WAIT TIME LEADERS REAL-TIME: Thank you to everyone who enters accurate wait times--you earn MouseRank Points, Credits, worldwide fame, and wealth beyond your wildest dreams when you enter wait times at the Park (ok maybe not the last two things). Please remember to ONLY enter wait times that you have verified in person, this improves our algorithm substantially, thanks!

1. Melody_CM
1200.4

2. Winnie111286
941.97

3. Coaster
499.13

4. teapotsandteacups
372.9

5. connielu
354

6. secretagentangel
353.17

7. ShariRenee
322.33

8. goofygal
195.93

9. heather77
174

10. LaPearleNoir
172.57

 

SEE THE TOP 100

14 more days and I shall be entering in wait times for the first time( I was slow and shy to post). Well actually it will be 15 days. The first  day we check in and go to Trader Sam's. πŸ˜‰ - varela2892  78.2 #4123 7:14AM
I just want to thank all the newbies who are on the list so much lately! This was started as a wait time and more app so by your starting out from the beginning doing wait times is awesome! 2/3of my points are from wait times. I make a game of it and have fun doing them. Hope everyone tries it, it helps others and you earn credits!!πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘ - secretagentangel  7926.0 #12 9:06PM
Half of my points are from wait times.  - Goofytom  2890.4 #51 10:28PM
I figure it is the least my wife and i can do, plus it is great exercise! I keep saying, one of these days we will go to one of the meet-ups. We generally only go on Saturday and sometimes Sunday as well. That darn thing called 'work' just gets in the way!  - oiler2112  805.9 #248 7:07AM
Pretty much all my points are from wait times  - kimo  271.1 #1213 6:54PM
Next August I will be posting wait times I know it will help pass the time in line but with 15 to 20 of us should go pretty well thanks to you and all the people here on MW - mjpdisney67  60.5 #4587 10:10AM
I was there tues and it was so crowded I couldn't even register wait times on my phone due to poor reception - DarthFairy  585.3 #374 4:58PM
Hmmm,who is your provider? I rarely have a problem, thanks for trying! - ShariRenee  11132.8 #8 12:12AM
Sprint! The worst - DarthFairy  585.3 #374 5:16PM
I was there on Friday and it was to busy to post any times  - jkobelski  21.1 #0 9:50PM


Hey I'm finally on this list πŸ˜„πŸ‘πŸŽ‰ - Sweet_Irish_Cream  4409.9 #35 10:39PM
Your always on the list!!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚list of what I don't know😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝. Jk - Fantasmicfan1  5308.4 #25 12:34PM
Fantasmicfan1 I just read that in the voice of Rodney Dangerfield from Back to School! - KennyV  1231.8 #154 3:48PM
Fantastic!! - Ilovegoofy  123.6 #3237 4:37PM
Love seeing everyone's pictures from Disneyland !! I know, we always have a good time :) - Lyssa2012  196.1 #2119 11:22PM
i am so glad i got to experience it,  but did not have to go thru it! - MsTikiMermadam  1432.9 #130 5:56AM
Thank you to all who post from the park!! Love seeing the park when I cannot be there. - snowgrey  8.0 #13535 2:49PM
Top of the list  - buzzgoneyear92  276.2 #1162 12:09AM

Earn 1000 Credits for staying at MouseWait Platinum Partner Hotels! Each night that you stay at the Hojo Anaheim 714-776-6120 or the brand new Courtyard Marriott Theme Park Entrance Hotel 714-254-1442 you will earn 1000 Credits! Just send an email to [email protected] after your stay with your confirmation number and check in date, and we will add the Credits to your account! Make sure to mention MouseWait when you reserve your rooms. 

When you support our Platinum Partner Hotels, you help us to improve MouseWait. Both hotels are run by the best management team in the business, and you won't get better service anywhere else!

Credits have been applied to everyone's account as of today! - Admin 11:40AM
I just called them to price out our potential trip in June. Chris was so nice and the MW savings are phenomenal! Still waiting on work vacation approval to reserve the room!  - HNL2SFO  296.3 #998 1:26PM
What percentage saving are we looking at for being MouseWaiters? Is it better than a AAA discount.  - MoChuck  159.5 #2645 3:57PM
@@@@@@@@@@@@Admin I sent an email about my stay at the Courtyard Marriott and haven't received the credits. Should I be doing this another way? Thank you! - PeppersGhost  228.7 #1690 11:30AM
@@@Admin I see the credits, thanks so much! - PeppersGhost  228.7 #1690 1:14PM
I sent you emails and support requests for my last 2 stays in May and June. I would appreciate it if you could check on them and let me know if I need to send you any additional info, please let me know. Thanks for your help @@@@@@@@@Admin - Winnie111286  21579.2 #3 10:51AM
You are awesome.  Thanks Admin - Winnie111286  21579.2 #3 1:28PM

See what Kate can do for you, and experience Disneyland like a VIP! Get your own Virtual Plaid in the App Store today, it's FREE! http://apple.co/1WL7y9I

- RetroDisneyPins2002  43.7 #5255 8:01AM
- CT4625  75.0 #4182 8:30PM
I use this every time I'm at the parks now and llove it!!!!  Thanks Admin - leopardditz2000  1157.2 #168 7:44PM
I don't understand why it was changed in the first place. The area was closed down and rebranded as Grizzly Peak Airfield to be more cohesive with the "California" theme of the park and then they change the ride from Soarin Over California; which is sticking pretty close to the theme of the park; to Soarin Over The World? It just doesn't make sense to me. I understand updating the video itself, which is what I wish they had done.  - 1HitchhikingGhost  292.9 #1022 7:03PM

Here are the Weekly Top 10 TRIVILATOR Players. Find people to play here. Play Disneyland Trivia with your friends on iOS. Play on any device with our new web version here.

1. DisneyMakesMeSmile
15.63

2. DisneyMom13
5.49

3. Goofytom
5.3

4. beentoall
2.61

5. teapotsandteacups
1.79

6. mamabeam
1.45

7. DisneyDiane316
1.18

8. Dolewhipped
0.96

9. DonaldRox
0.96

10. sheridanrabbit
0.95

 

Yay @@Moog!!!! So great!  πŸ˜ - valj84DisneyDeppAddict  314.8 #880 6:28PM
You sweet thing!  You crack me up!  I'm merely an apprentice being schooled by @@Tom!! - Moog  97.2 #3734 11:33AM
πŸ‘‹β€οΈ - Tom  13209.4 #5 11:47AM
Wtg @@DisneyMakesMeSmile and @@Moog ;) - otilegna  2805.9 #53 7:41PM
A major compliment from someone who hands me my you know what every game, @@otilegna 😜!!! - Moog  97.2 #3734 8:05PM
Yay !!!  - otilegna  2805.9 #53 9:42AM
I'm back:-) - beentoall  1271.5 #0 9:58PM
Hey! I made top 10!! !  - DisneyDiane316  255.1 #1366 8:29PM
Way to go, beautiful!   - Wyldsideb  97.6 #3730 1:42PM

What if Walt never dreamed of Disneyland? What would your life be like? What would the world be like? Get Book Two of the VOYAGEERS Saga - The Great Storyteller - on Amazon. Buy the Paperback and get the Kindle version FREE! 

Thank you Admin! This book is a great read. I recommend it to anyone who is a Disney fan. Can't wait for the next one! - grumpypapa  7731.5 #13 8:38PM
Thank you for reading! - Admin  6:26PM
cant wait to read it - ebugsmama  19.6 #7803 10:32PM
  - teapotsandteacups  1401.9 #138 10:17PM
- sunvalgifts  170.5 #2478 7:40AM

Here is the Overall Quality Top 10 real-time list. Follow these MouseWaiters for great content:

1. Winnie111286
7082

2. uscdisneyteacher
6961

3. CobbPR
6911

4. misschurro
6338

5. Dave
6164

6. BaseballMickey
6041

7. pikarich
5814

8. Plumiegirl
5601

9. Duchess_SMK
5546

10. Stitch_Legacy
4717



SEE THE TOP 100

This list needs to be updated! Just saying😬 - MadameLeota  4648.8 #31 9:51PM
is this just a standing thing? Never changes? - DarthFairy  585.3 #374 8:06PM
This is so true, it never changes, what's up with that lol - itsmyglassslipper  534.4 #423 12:28PM
I know and I'm still on itπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - Plumiegirl  10382.5 #9 5:56PM

DISNEYLAND PARK:

Haunted Mansion Aug 22-TBA
Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln Aug 22-TBA
Big Thunder Ranch and Barbecue CLOSED permanently
Fantasmic! Jan 10-TBA
Disneyland Railroad Jan 10-TBA
Mark Twain Riverboat Jan 10-TBA
Sailing Ship Columbia Jan 10-TBA
Davey Crocket Explorer Canoes Jan 10-TBA
Tom Sawyer Island Jan 10-TBA

DISNEY CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE:

King Triton's Carousel Aug 8-TBA



 

Were visiting during the diamond celebration.  I'm so excited because all of our favorite rides will be open! - Dsc1983  20.3 #7645 10:53PM
Awesome! Can't wait! - PrincessDaisy_FU2Rcm  357.5 #692 8:33AM
Can this get updated??? I see in sept that Indy is closed so wondering how long... And also Ariel!  - brodysmommy  453.7 #515 9:30PM
Silly symphony swings are open. We went on them today (for the first time)!  - DisneyDiane316  255.1 #1366 6:50PM

Thanked by:   Tom   carminaire   kimdis   99 More Thanks DisneyDatchet   Bambim44   yipman  

Your Donations Help Us Make MouseWait Better!

TOP MWs of the WEEK

1.connielu 357.52 #192  
2.Winnie111286 337.41 #3  
3.secretagentangel 191.31 #12  
4.jacdanfan 166.51 #6  
5.Coaster 160.47 #1  
6.teapotsandteacups 145.75 #138  
7.heather77 128.81 #355  
8.goofygal 123.82 #7  
9.Tom 118.53 #5  
10.Melody_CM 117.24 #2  

MW Quality Top 100    Monthly Leaders   Top 100 MouseRank Leaders  Top 50 News  Monthly Wait Time Leaders


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