2280.1 #56 (DL Qual #30

Sep 1, 2013 10:05 PM  Disneyland Talk Land
I've really been missing Disneyland lately, and one attraction I really like is the Jungle Cruise (poster courtesy of Google). I miss the one-liners and jokes... Do you have a favorite you can share?

Last night the skipper said "there's a boa in a tree. H-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love.......then asphyxiation." I laughed at that one and he said to me "oh, you know what marriage is like."  I laughed more and he said "getting a little too real, huh?" - duckymomo  39.0 #4969 8:25AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - LilMissPixie84  309.3 #793 9:23AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - MeridaFan  3549.4 #36 9:33AM
LOL - MrsSchnooks  3112.3 #40 9:35AM
Omg lol πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ - princessb5  176.8 #2213 9:36AM
Lol that's funny! I haven't heard that one!  - Seebritatdland  268.6 #1108 9:42AM
I love that line! - ythdudette  1297.4 #117 6:57PM
There are too many to post (since I hear them every time I work in Adventureland...). Here's a few: CM gets on queue speaker: "May I have your attention please! Whoever lost a bundle of cash wrapped in a rubber band, please see the nearest skipper. We have found your rubber band...". Another: "Please do not take pictures while in line. I repeat, please do not take pictures while in line. The pictures are bolted to the wall. Thank you." - BaseballMickey_CM  7038.9 #9 10:09PM
I've heard the rubber band one before, (love it), but the pictures in line is a new one for me! Love it! - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 10:14PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I haven't heard either of those. Funny! - MeridaFan  3549.4 #36 10:36PM
We've now turned down the Nile River, the longest river in the world! If you don't believe it then you must be in denial.  - zonfire  26.6 #5878 9:03AM
O2H is by far my most favorite joke! My husband and I always cheer whenever the skipper says it, and we attempt to lead the rest of the boat in an O2H chant.Β  - Atora  2674.7 #42 10:10PM
It's the little ones you have to watch out for. They will latch on for 18-25 years.  - Geekery  409.4 #503 10:25PM
What part is that on? - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 10:33PM
Usually when passing the Indiana Jones queue  - Atora  2674.7 #42 10:36PM
The "animals" near Indy. - CM_Shadowgamer  2464.8 #49 10:40PM
LOL!!! Haven't heard that one before - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 11:16PM
"And bleed you dry!" - IDVandalSkipperCM  2358.8 #53 2:46AM
My favorite was years ago when I was in the queue about to board.  One of the boats was pulling away and the skipper was saying into his mike that on their journey the passengers would be seeing things "even more terrifying than that girl in the pink shirt."  I was the girl in the pink shirt.  πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - Bo22  387.7 #538 10:47PM
In the queue "looking for a tall, fit, blonde hair blue eyed female between 18-23. If you find one send her to me." - GoofyMom77  680.0 #266 11:28PM
At the end, "Get out! Oh, I'm sorry that was rude.... PLEASE get out" πŸ˜‚ Or "lower your head and watch your step. And if you don't lower your head watch your language" lol They know me too well πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - SPandEvLover  3667.5 #35 9:34AM
Love this one!   - MeridaFan  3549.4 #36 9:41AM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint  5402.7 #17 9:50AM
"You don't see that every day. Well...I do." - Alicewhoareyou  1803.6 #79 10:09PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ love that one! - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 10:16PM
I miss the jungle cruise too but my all time favourite is pirates! - piratepat  15.9 #7672 10:40PM
"If anyone has not seen the Jungle Book...there it is." (Only visitors to Magic Kingdom will get this one.) - CM_Shadowgamer  2464.8 #49 10:45PM
"Most people take it for granite." - LittleAprilShowers  562.2 #336 10:49PM
This is one of my favorites too! - duckchub  555.9 #341 10:57PM
"Come on, that joke rocks!" - CM_Shadowgamer  2464.8 #49 11:08PM
πŸ‘†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 11:54PM
one of my favorites was near the end after trader sam and the shrunken head thing, the skipper pointed to the wall of the Aladdin complex and said "if you need to find the restrooms just follow the directions on that wall." It's in arabic. I am still curious as to what it really sayes. - Plumiegirl  8971.3 #4 10:53PM
According to a CM I trained with, he said it doesn't say much. It's just gibberish. The one word he did find is "river". - IDVandalSkipperCM  2358.8 #53 2:47AM
The skipper says... I was over at trader SAMs for dinner and I said your wife makes a great stew and he said, I know, I am going to miss her!πŸ²πŸ‘€πŸ™€πŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΉπŸ˜Ή - Boundin  610.5 #308 10:57PM
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 11:17PM
Have you met my girlfriend a-net? She's a real catch.  - sewedna  505.7 #389 11:03PM
And sometimes they say what a bad joke that was, because he doesn't have a girlfriend. - APirateslifeforme31  169.0 #2338 7:36AM
I heard a new two new ones the other night.  At least they were new to me.  One was, I stead of "back side of water" it was the "back stage area of world of color" and then at the end, instead of "pair of docks" it was "let's end this trip on a high note:****commence with high pitch tarzan type yell***"  - Zippitydoodani  260.3 #1186 11:04PM
Great lines!!! - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 11:17PM
The first time I took my kids the skipper says, 'My name is Jesus (hay soos), not Jesus πŸ™ - HalfCaff  437.1 #462 11:11PM
"Keep an eye on your children, they can be used as a floatation device." Something like that. Lol - pinkmonkeys  527.6 #368 11:18PM
My fave is still "let me point out some of the local plant life...*points to random area* there's some right there...*points to other random area* and some more over there" πŸ˜‚ so lame but I laugh every time!!!! - GitsieMouse  261.7 #1170 11:31PM
I laugh at that one all the time too! One of my faves! - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 11:52PM
O2H, O2H - SDKimble  156.7 #2525 11:39PM
Whiny they turn to the plants saying they all have names and then introduce them as Larry, Bob, Terry, etc. LOL - MrsSchnooks  3112.3 #40 4:26AM
"They're only dangerous when they blow bubbles and wiggle their ears" - TheNewTrent  748.0 #228 4:28AM
"There's a lot of rocks on the beach, there must be millions!" Or I love, "Here's the second most feared animal in the jungle The great elephant! Now if you look to your right you'll see the second, his mother in law." Cracks me up every time!  - MaleficentMom  217.9 #1692 4:44AM
Not really a one-liner - but I love the birthday song they sing β™«β™ͺβ™«"This is your birthday song, it isn't very long." β™ͺβ™«β™«   - CallMeFlower  422.9 #478 7:06AM
"I'm only am elected official...I can make decisions on my own" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - 2BeignetOrNot2Beignet  1156.5 #137 8:08AM
Hahah - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint  5402.7 #17 9:13AM
This isn't a line but once years ago the skipper said "ladies and gentlemen we have a celebrity on board. Everyone please give a round a applause for Sandra Bullock!" He was referring to me. I am often told I look like her and this was mortifying as an 18 year old but now I think it's hilarious.  - tballzz  556.1 #340 10:50AM
I bet you look like my sister! She looks a lot like SB too! - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 4:46PM
When the skipper picks up the gun and *SAYS*, "Bang! Bang! Ricochet!! Ricochet!!"  We are giggling about it right now - HandMeAChurroImmaFaint  5402.7 #17 4:21PM
I like: " oh and here we have Ginger. She is a big croc..... But be careful, ginger snaps!!" - HiddenMickeyFanatic  1156.9 #136 6:40PM
not a joke but I thought there was a movie based in jungle cruise in development, slated for next year or 2015 release starring tim allen.  now where did I see that?????  will have to find it for you. - secretagentangel  1692.5 #87 6:51PM
Skipper states at the beginning of the tour "Who woke up this morning and said, I HAVE to go on the Jungle Cruise today?  I DO, every morning". Then something about "every 7 minutes" - MermaidHunter  121.2 #3097 6:53PM
I was about 10 so this was ages ago. Heading toward the dock the Skipper told a joke: What did Snow White say when she was at the Fotomat? Someday my prints will come!!  - ythdudette  463.5 #298 6:59PM Flag  Edit  Delete Like  Reply - ythdudette  1297.4 #117 7:01PM
"Now here's one for those of you that can read minds:............." - garrlusdland  67.6 #4059 7:11PM
.........(mentally laughing)... πŸ˜‚ - DisneyDavidEMT  2280.1 #56 8:39PM

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Deadliest Cast Member SEASON TWO is here! Find out what really happened on Disneyland's 50th Anniversary. Twenty-four hours or real-time action, authentic Disneyland history, and a finale that you'll never forget. EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME. Download it to any device from Amazon here.

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Test - Admin  12:16AM
I now have both seasons on my Kindle!!!!  LOVE them!!!!  I also have both of the Voyagers!  So great!!!!!      - valj84DisneyAddict  168.7 #2345 10:57AM
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Yes! A wonderful day!  Hope yours is great too!!! I will look for you on Trivilator. πŸ˜πŸ‘ - valj84DisneyAddict  168.7 #2345 3:27PM
Is it a game? - palomine96  18.8 #7005 11:58PM
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Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! - Admin  10:46AM
Where can I find the book please?  - sarahsanch  6.8 #13231 1:03PM
Just got it! Can't stop reading it. I am already starting chaper 16. Love how all the details of DL are woven into the story. - Tiggerific  340.9 #654 4:20PM
Glad you like it! Season Two is coming in a few weeks! - Admin  11:52PM
When is # 3 coming out? I can't wait!! I read the others way toooooo fast. Loved them. - Popcorn  5.6 #15757 5:40PM
I've read seasons 1 and 2.  Can't wait for season 3! - eeyore4me  0.6 #73338 1:08PM

Use this link (save it as a bookmark to make it easy) before you add things to your Amazon and MouseWait will receive 5% of your purchase! Thank you for your support!

Purchased the Voyageers book through this link so MW benefits twice  - UTDISNEYFAMILY  1622.8 #96 4:48PM
Spent $490 on it the other day - CVDisneyland  387.2 #541 12:40PM
Thank you! - Admin  5:04PM
@otilegna - pikarich  4106.2 #27 9:34AM
I buy pretty much everything on Amazon. Nice to know MW can get a little piece of that! - MellyMelBB  64.9 #4113 12:06AM

TOP 5 THINGS to do this week at the Disneyland Resort:

1. Watch the new "Paint the Night" parade 8:50 and 11pm nightly.

2. Watch the new "Disneyland Forever" Fireworks show at 9:30pm nightly.

3. See the new "World of Color" 9pm and 10:15pm nightly.

4. Try to find a "Made with Magic" wand or paintbrush which allow you to interact with select Disney experiences and merchandise. 

5. Look for the Word of the Day displayed outside of the theme park entrances (or in the MouseWait Lounge) and text the word between 7am and 10:59am Pacific to the shortcode listed on the sign. You must be at the Disneyland Resort to enter. If you win, you will be notified around 11am via text or phone. For more info go here

And don't forget about Food! Check out our real-time Food blog to see what's new at the Resort. POST YOUR IDEAS BELOW and they could make the weekly top 5!

Come to our la  Brea sticker meetup which starts early at 4 pm then come join MWers to watch PTN and Fireworks too!  - secretagentangel  1692.5 #87 11:59PM
was bummed i did not make it two weeks ago,  see you in aug! - MsTikiMermadam  333.2 #679 6:41PM
Checkβœ”οΈfinally completed the list! I think my favorite is the new fireworks shows!!! Gives me goosebumps and brings on the happy cry.  - MinnieMyLove  189.8 #2038 9:00AM
I just need WOC - gedi0614  18.2 #7148 1:11AM
Me too! - MellyMelBB  64.9 #4113 9:26AM
Try one or more of the new Diamond desserts! - MsTikiMermadam  333.2 #679 6:40PM

Our new Walt Disney World App for iOS is here! MagicSearch, upNEXT, new Lounge, and tons of other upgrades. Go get it here. You can see all of the new features and how tos here

thanks admin - Fantasmicfan1  1292.2 #119 9:42PM
  - jacdanfan  8889.1 #5 6:08AM
- Lilogirl1  113.0 #3276 4:26PM
Thanks! DW fans appreciate you! - LeighMouse  17.9 #0 7:58AM

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Nice pic!πŸ“· - Stitchcrazy62622  16.2 #7570 10:18PM

Follow the new MouseWait Blog for updates, how-tos, tips, contests, and more! 

Didn't know there was one. Yay - TrueFromOzLovesDisney  473.7 #419 4:20PM

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Here are the upcoming MouseWait Events. You can post your event on mobile here, and on the web here. Thanks!

1. Lake Tahoe Summer Meetup
Aug 01, 2015 09:30am


We have our weekly MW sticker meetup at La Brea bakery at 4 pm in Downtown Disney! Lots of fun for newcomers and all and a great way to meet new people! Then we go to the MW spot we've held in DL to watch PTN and fireworks! Everyone is welcome! - secretagentangel  1692.5 #87 6:10PM
On Tuesday nights, duh!!!πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜© - secretagentangel  1692.5 #87 10:47PM
I'm gonna have a crowding meetup Presidents' Day weekend! Post to come!  - TinkerSchelle  1672.9 #91 5:42PM
I'll crowd with you  - LaPearleNoir  1553.4 #97 2:27PM
I ❀️ crowding meetups - bonedaddy909  1304.3 #115 12:29PM
Would love to come! - susanann  8.9 #10799 6:15PM
What day works best for you guys bonedaddy909 and susanann and LaPearleNoir? - TinkerSchelle  1672.9 #91 1:21PM
Any day Friday theough Monday works for me! - susanann  8.9 #10799 2:12PM
Friday thru Sunday for UsπŸ˜ƒ.....Wait a minute😳what the heck is a crowding meetup and what would we be crowding into??πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ - bonedaddy909  1304.3 #115 7:09PM
I heard there's a cool Winchester Mystery House meetup 😬 - adventurerEnDisneylandia {AED}  965.9 #175 7:17PM
Any MW Tinkerbell half marathon weekend runners interested in a photo op meet-up/s before one or all 3 of the races??Β  - Romec123aKaSmartyPants  697.4 #252 2:11PM
When is this race? - secretagentangel  1692.5 #87 6:15PM
The 5K is May 8th, 10K May 9th, and the Half is May 10th. - CoachDisney  78.8 #3814 2:43PM
I will for the 5k, will be there Thursday afternoon till Friday noon. - Sleepingbeautysmom  304.9 #823 8:17AM

MouseWait COUNTDOWN for iOS is here! Countdown the days to your next Disneyland or Disney World trip with our images OR your pics! Your Countdown also displays on Apple Watch and is beautiful on iPhone 6 screens. Secure the discounted launch price for a limited time.

I have the countdown and I love it! - tree320  0.6 #0 9:26AM

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