The other day jeana121170 posted her problem with deciding to take her daughter to parks or not ( really tough descion). Though my affliction is not same as her I do have similar question to take or not. I have 5yr old who me n wife took last year for halloween time along with my 2 step children. My dilemma is that my step kids go 3-4 times a year with their dad while I cannot afford but 1 time every 3-4 years. However this year I do have money to take my son myself and wife. But not my step kids. Am I bad step father for wanting to do this? Please help
Would the trip take place during a time they would normally be with you? - TandAlly213.5 #1466 4-7-11 12:55PMLike Reply
That's a tough one... I don't think I could leave any of the kids behind I would worry that they wouldn't understand and it would hurt them. I'm sure you will make the best decision for you and your family :) - banneygirl123.6 #2728 4-7-11 12:56PMLike Reply
If you make arrangements for them to go somewhere else, when they are supposed to be with you and your wife, and then you go to Disney, that's gonna sting, really bad. It's a tricky balancing act, I have a daughter, my husband has a daughter and a son, and we have a son together. I can sympathize with you! - TandAlly213.5 #1466 4-7-11 12:57PMLike Reply
Is there a way to budget for economical meals, snacks, hotel so that all could go? I was a stepkid and I know how it felt when my dad, stepmom and half-sister would go somewhere without me The thing is, kids are kids - and feelings will be hurt, even if they do get to go DL more... - Mickey_M14.8 #5830 4-7-11 12:58PMLike Reply
You go when the other 2 are not with you. Do you think their dad feels guilty not taking your kid. NO! Go and have a great time! - Pinup Princess167.4 #2077 4-7-11 1:01PMLike Reply
If they would not normally be with you at the time of the trip, and since they go often anyway, I wouldn't see that being a problem. - TandAlly213.5 #1466 4-7-11 1:01PMLike Reply
I would say save a little more and go when your entire family can go. They may go with your wife's ex a lot, but they are still a part of your family. Kids dont understand how much it really costs, all they get is hey why didn't we get to go. Just my opinion coming from being a child and step child. - Nicole380.2 #362 4-7-11 1:08PMLike Reply
Is your house home base, meaning its the primary home for the kids? If it is then I can see how this could be a toughy.... If babies daddy takes the kids 4 times a year why not ask him to get the kids APs? That way maybe you can take them. Other wise I agree that if you plan the trip when the kids are with their dad it should be ok but be ready with an explanation. Kids are notorious for never forgetting these kinds of things and letting you off the hook. - Jayjay417.4 #314 4-7-11 1:09PMLike Reply
They are 9&7 and kinda rub in face if my 5yr old. They do get upset when we do things without them but I don't want my son to fell like I can't take him anywhere. - Cricket224.1 #1332 4-7-11 1:10PMLike Reply
I agree with Jayjay, I they're going that often, ap's would make sense, and he should foot most of that. Maybe you could offer to put some money toward their passes? - bluefairy628.8 #175 4-7-11 1:13PMLike Reply
This is such a tough situation. I would err on the side of the kiddos always though. Save more, take all, be happy for them when they get to go more often, your son will pick up on this and hopefully be happy for them too. It is never easy to blend families, but giving more than you feel like to steps and exes will always make for stronger families. That being said, I only offer this based on what you have written and personal experience. You will do what's best for your family. The fact that you even asked shows you are a great dad. - PieRatAL619.7 #180 4-7-11 1:19PMLike Reply
I am in a very similar situation. The fact remains that your other children do things with their father when they are not with you. Much like you, your wife and young son do things when the older kids are not with you. I have gone with and without my oldest son whom I share custody. He understands that while I try to schedule big events around his time with Dad, its not easy nor is it always feasible or appropriate...i.e...should my younger sons do/go without because big brother isn't with us this weekend? I would recommend that you take the little guy, have the time of your lives, and bring the other kids a souvenir as a bridge for them not being able to go.
Cheers, and have fun! - turbineking9914.5 #5870 4-7-11 1:20PMLike Reply
I don't think it's bad that you want to take your child without the others. They go enough. This is your Childs special day! Dint feel bad about that! - rogerrabbit7625.5 #4707 4-7-11 1:46PMLike Reply
It's ok to do something special for just your child! ESp since the other kids go all the time, what does ur wife think? If she doesn't have a problem with it then I think ur in the clear! - RickeyCalifornia157.0 #2229 4-7-11 1:48PMLike Reply
Geez that's tough. I think Id b just as confused if I were you! Not sure if this would help but I have a premium pass and I think if I buy tickets I get a discount. I don't think much maybe 10% or so but I'd b more than happy to help if you'd like.... - deedub37.6 #4150 4-7-11 1:51PMLike Reply
I don't think u can use your pass to get a disc on tix, I'm not sure about the premium one but with my socal AP I tried to use the disc for tix and they said no :( but I'm sure there would be a CM willing to help get u discounted tix! - RickeyCalifornia157.0 #2229 4-7-11 1:58PMLike Reply
Please take him! He needs alone time with his dad just like the others get time with their dad. If you think its not fair well... it's also not fair they go so much and he doesn't and then rubs it in his face! Its his turn to have a "one upper" situation! - pintsize289.0 #689 4-7-11 2:19PMLike Reply
@cricket I got your text, but it doesn't look like you have text set up on your profile. :) Can you plan the trip for a time when the step kids would normally be at their fathers house? If you can, I'd do it. - TandAlly213.5 #1466 4-7-11 2:20PMLike Reply
I would take him and just make sure you go when the others are at their dads. Explain that they get to several times a year and now it's your 5 yr olds turn to go. Or plan the trip within a couple weeks of when they go, that way you can point out that they just went. That way in their little minds they can see the situation for what it is. - Nikkia20204.0 #13979 4-7-11 2:25PMLike Reply
Nikkia- I agree, and I think theyd understand. My daughter is 8, when she's at her dads, I sometimes take my son out do do special things, and she understands completely, as long as it's not something she's wanted to do forever, or something we don't normally do. On the flip side, I couldnt say "hey you're going to to to your dads today so we can go to Silverwood because we can't afford to take you!" even if her dad took her sometimes, it just wouldn't be cool. - TandAlly213.5 #1466 4-7-11 2:30PMLike Reply
I would bet your son would love the alone time with you. Go and enjoy. I think I would feel worse if the other two had never been, but that is not the case. My family took a lot of trips that I was not a part of because of being with the other parent. I learned to accept that as normal for our family. Best of luck in your decision. - missdonduck7.9 #7801 4-7-11 2:35PMLike Reply
If your step kids go 3-4 times a year, can u plan a trip with your son around the same time as when your stepkids go with their dad? - Disneyaddict254.8 #988 4-7-11 2:36PMLike Reply
Deedub and Rickey: about 10 years ago they did have a promotion where ap's could buy discounted tickets. I did it for some coworkers back in the day, but it no longer applies. - bluefairy628.8 #175 4-7-11 2:46PMLike Reply
I would take your son and have a good time. - n.corvello22.9 #4909 4-7-11 2:49PMLike Reply
Talk your son while stepkids are at park with kids. If it doesn't work timing wise- take your son and you for " guy down time." - hippoluver268.8 #854 4-7-11 2:59PMLike Reply
I think it's fine to just go with your son. There will be other instances that the whole family won't be able to do everything together. That's just how it goes in blended families. Go and have fun with no guilt! Your son deserves it! - CravingDisney150.1 #2336 4-7-11 3:10PMLike Reply
I understand where you are coming from. I take my two every other month but my BF can't afford to pay for him and his son. We have gone without the kids before our 1 1/2 year old was born. His son has gone before with his mom so it's not like he's never been but he wants to take his son which I understand. My parents took me all the time and I like doing the same for my kids. I love the one on one time with my kids and we have a blast! - Keala76293.5 #667 4-7-11 3:10PMLike Reply
@criket if the tickets at dl are too expensive n I kno they are I can tell u where to get them a slight cheaper n they're legitimate too well txt me if u want the info n ikno its hard to take ppl especially if ur tight on money well let me kno n good luck on ur decision.. - jebuzuc0.8 #46065 4-7-11 3:27PMLike Reply
By the way my email is jesusuc@gmail.con lol sorry forgot to leave it well good luck just let me kno its u if u email me - jebuzuc0.8 #46065 4-7-11 3:29PMLike Reply
Ok here is my take on it. I come from a blended family and my sister and I spent weekends with our Dad. If our dad took us to do something when it was his weekend obvsly our step brothers n sisters didn't get to go. So if our mom and step dad took the other kids to do something without us then those were the brakes. There is nothing wrong with taking your son while the other kids are at their Dads especially if he takes them all the time. My siblings and I are all close and none of us harbor any resentment about things like that. - Mrsblue692.4 #150 4-7-11 3:57PMLike Reply
Thank u all for ur words I'm going to sit down with Wife and talk it out with her and one way or another hope tonneau some if u in the park!!! - Cricket224.1 #1332 4-7-11 4:55PMLike Reply
Sorry meant hope to meet some of u! - Cricket224.1 #1332 4-7-11 5:40PMLike Reply
Everyone forgot about the mom in this situation - she can't be happy at DL leaving her 2 others behind... If it's just dad and son - go for it! - Mickey_M14.8 #5830 4-7-11 6:01PMLike Reply
Being one if those step kids that was left out offen I would be angry. But if you sat down and explained it like you did above I would understand. - GoofyJoe1868.3 #41 4-7-11 6:07PMLike Reply
My other half and I agreed long ago that we never go without our own kids.. Meshing a family together is hard, but remember you are a family. I know its frustrating when the stepkids talk about going - but remember they are kids... Go with what your heart is saying - Mickey_M14.8 #5830 4-7-11 6:14PMLike Reply
